


ocean eyes

by tintinwrite



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 02:32:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17296064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tintinwrite/pseuds/tintinwrite
Summary: Sayo looked down at those blue sparkling eyes. They were so inviting, swirling like blue ocean waves on a calm July afternoon. Sayo was lost in them, drowning, gasping for breath. Whenever she looked into those eyes, it was the only thing she could see. Against a backdrop of headlights, screaming fans, those ocean eyes, they swallowed her whole.





	ocean eyes

**Author's Note:**

> sayo x lisa 
> 
> maybe it’s their love for yukina, for roselia, that they both fell in love with each other.

Sayo always thought she was in love with Yukina Minato.  
  
The first time she watched Yukina sing on stage, the neon lights sweeping over a crowd so congested and alive that Sayo had, for a second, lost her composure and chanted along.  
  
_She makes the music come alive_ , Sayo thought, _alive in a way that I never could_ .  
  
Of course there was the initial jealousy, the voice inside of her that said this was nothing, a lone singer can never make it, it takes skills and years of hard work. _Does she give everything to her music?_ Sayo thought quietly, _does she make her sacrifices?_  
  
The other part of her, the part of her that was softer, more attuned to brief moments of weakness when she lets her guard down. That part of her answered _Yes_ . Because no one whole could make music so alive, so devastatingly _eloquent_ .  
  
So every night when Sayo goes to sleep with calloused fingers and hands smelling of guitar metal, she thought about Yukina, and that electrical moment when Yukina’s voice fitted along the guitar riff so perfectly, a well worn key sliding into a lock, gliding along the notes in perfect synchrony, a power so unimaginably meteoric yet so authentically human. It was that moment Sayo kept turning in her head. Because it made her remember herself, before she turned her heart into ice and hardened her resolve. Music that feels alive... Music that guides your finger across the guitar, and in that moment you feel invincible, in that moment you can let go of everything...  
  
Sayo would dream of playing her guitar in front of that very crowd, the light shining directly into her eyes, the cheers muted against Yukina’s voice and her own guitar; a crown of pale halo around Yukina’s silver hair...  
  
_If I could play music with her, I could live._  
  
— 

Lisa loved Yukina her entire life.  
  
When they were younger, they did everything together. Days were simpler back then. They walked hand in hand to school, and after class Lisa would wait for Yukina behind the big tree in the courtyard. They shared stories at the twilight dawn, when summer days dragged on forever and the water was cool on her face as they splashed around in the neighbourhood river. Yukina didn’t mind hugs or cheek kisses back then, and Lisa was always happy to give them. Hugs feel like the sun and kisses are chocolates on a cold day, Lisa would say, and laugh when Yukina’s face turned rose pink.  
  
On Yukina’s 13th birthday, Lisa baked a chocolate cake with extra vanilla icing on top. Yukina had murmured a quiet thank you and chose a modest slice, but the sparkle in her eyes were words enough.  
  
Then one day Yukina changed.  
  
It was as if she severed herself from the outside world. Her violet eyes, once amethyst, turned a pale glacier; she withdrew herself, fighting a silent battle that stormed tempest within her. It hurts Lisa to see Yukina like this. They no longer walked home together. When Lisa had politely declined afterschool coffee dates and shopping hangouts from friends, Yukina was long gone. There were no longer any birthdays together, no more hugs on winter days, forehead kisses shared on the playground. The rift between them widened, split, and drifted.

In those days Lisa could only keep the hurt to herself; she blamed herself partly, because all the life Lisa’s lived, she was always the sturdy foundation. In everything that she does she was the cheerleader, the moodmaker, the one who united everyone together. It didn’t hurt that she was pretty and bubbly and sociable, her friend circle was wide and reaching, her smile dazzled everyone. Everyone except Yukina. 

Then Lisa learned that Yukina had been performing at CIRcle.  
  
Music has always been her everything.  
  
It was true. Yukina had always attached herself to music; as much as Lisa hated to admit it, music was a better friend to Yukina than she was. The late nights song drifting out of Yukina’s window on a warm summer night, when all the windows are open and Lisa could hear Yukina’s voice harmonizing with the melody. She was entranced, Yukina’s voice has always been extremely powerful, offsetting her small and glacial image.  
  
“Why don’t you sing for the school music club?” Lisa had once asked, when they were still on speaking terms.  
  
Yukina scowled, “I don’t do that kind of music.” _That kind of music_ referred to pop songs.

“They could use your vocals,” Lisa teased, knowing that this conversation was going nowhere.  
  
Yukina gave Lisa a hard look, the ones where her eyes bore into yours and lock them there. Silent fire burning.  
  
“My voice will carry me to the apex.”  
  
That memory strayed into Lisa’s thought as she watched Yukina perform on that stage. The crowd was singing along to the lyrics; the song, originally a soft RnB, was reshaped into a heavy rock cover, Yukina’s work, Lisa realized. Yukina’s voice rang clear above the instrumental, she closed her eyes when she sang, her hands clasped tight around the microphone. Her entire face came alive with the music, each words painted her features, each turn of the rhythm drew up the corner of her mouth a bit more, until at the end of the set she was smiling...! Smiling as she sang the last chord, the last harmony with the crowd all surging towards her.  
  
Lisa felt tears sprang to her eyes. _This is the Yukina I’ve been missing. This is the Yukina I love._  
  
Then she understood, she would have to become a part of this world if she was to see this Yukina. She would have to let music back into her life.  
  
—

Playing guitar for Roselia felt like a dream.

In Sayo’s mind, she was always the lone wolf. Just her and her guitar, fighting her way through the world with her impeccable skills. She knew she had a problem fitting into groups; she was too fractious, too dismissive. It was the same in school and at home, being on the disciplinary committee isolated her from her classmates, and because she was always so forceful about following strict policies, even the teachers were afraid of her.  
  
At home she was constantly reminded of her inadequacies by the presence of Hina. Hina the prodigy, the child genius who could play Mozart on the piano when she was five; Hina class top 1, voted most likely to succeed. It didn’t help that Hina also played the guitar, and her skills were just as good as Sayo’s even without practicing. So Sayo pushed her sister away, preferring instead to practice guitar in her locked room until her fingers started to blacken.

Every single band she’s joined, she’s left. On her own volition, of course. She was too good for them. They slowed her down, they dragged her under. 

So everytime when Sayo showed up to the Roselia practice room, the split second before opening the door and expecting the room to be empty, so she can finally say to herself, “see, they abandoned me too”. Yet the first thing to greet her would be Ako and Lisa’s enthusiastic hellos, Rinko’s quiet bow, and Yukina’s somewhat awkward nod of the head. The music united them, their instruments interlocked like a seamless weaving of different materials, all coming together to form the perfect form.

And there was something else.

A certain warmth creeping into her heart. Encouraged by each performance they’ve given, each silent nod of approval by Yukina, each look of awe from Ako and Rin, each heart shaped cookies baked by Lisa.

Little by little Sayo felt herself opening up; it was easier to laugh, to breath, to hum quietly into the mic as she tuned her strings.

Has it always been this effortless? Playing music? Laughing? The stubborn strive to prove herself was gone, pushed to the corner of her mind. Instead it was replaced by an unfamiliar excitement for music, to feel like she **_belonged_ **, finally, to a group of people who cherished her talent and loved her.

_Friends._

A word that tasted so foreign on her tongue, yet dripped honey with its irresistible sweetness.

And perhaps there was love, too, even though Sayo cannot even begin to guess at its meaning. She’s only loved music, the feeling of metal against her fingers. A painful love, based on the tangible achievement of a riff played without any mistakes, countless hours spent playing the same thing again and again. Love shouldn’t be easy. You had to fight for it, make it your own.

So it was easy for Sayo to fall in love with Yukina, or at least she thought so.

Yukina loved music as much as Sayo. They both shared the same principles: skill, talent, hard work; it will bring them to the top. It was only logical that she loved Yukina, she was her idol, her inspiration, the beacon of light she towards when her mind goes dark. When the last note of their song ends, and the final echo of Yukina’s voice fall silent against the cheering of audience, Sayo waited for her heartbeat to calm. Except -- she never understood why until later -- her heart would jump to her throat again when a flurry of hazel curls enveloped her.

_Lisa_.

“You played so well, Sayo!” Lisa disentangled her arms and smiled up at her. “Did you hear their chants? They were in love with you.”

Sayo looked down at those blue sparkling eyes. They were so inviting, swirling like blue ocean waves on a calm july afternoon. Sayo was lost in them, drowning, gasping for breath. Whenever she looked into those eyes, it was the only thing she could see. Against a backdrop of headlights, screaming fans, those ocean eyes, they swallowed her whole.

But what gets to Sayo, what makes the butterflies in her stomach titter until she felt nauseous, was Lisa’s **smile**. It was a smile like no other; a smile without motive, without cunning, without any calculated wit that was impossible to imagine for a girl as beautiful as Lisa. Sayo had seen the love letters peeking out of Lisa’s school bag as she arrived for practice, the hand-wrapped chocolates from admirers on Valentines and Christmas. Lisa’s phone was set on silent because she was always getting messages from someone. Lisa’s fans, those glass wearing boys and men who choraled her after every live, had the same smitten look after Lisa flashed them her signature smile and politely excused herself.

_They are in love with you, Lisa_ . Sayo wanted to say. Except she found her tongue twisted whenever she was hit by that combo of smile and eyes. Not to mention how _close_ Lisa was to her, how she always smelled like vanilla and warm jasmine.

So instead she says, “Thank you, Imai-san. You played well too.”

Lisa did a little pout, “Don’t joke around with me Sayo, you know I messed up on that part in Starmine.”

Sayo did the best to ignore the butterflies, which seemed to be jumping around more than usual. “Your solo today was good. Your practice last week paid off.” She felt stupid immediately after saying it. _There you go again_ , _putting others down._

Except Lisa didn’t seem to notice, or perhaps she didn’t mind. Which was both a mystery and a wonder to Sayo.

Lisa laughed, “I know right? I was so proud of myself! I can’t wait to rub it in Yukina’s face.” She grinned, the force of it blasted Sayo in the face and left her mind blank.  

_What is happening._

Everything about this was illogical. Sayo never had a type, and if she did, she was sure it would take the form of Yukina. Sayo never believed in romance, any of that rosy-colored feelings you get from reading too many shoujo mangas, or watch on screen as two people fall in make-believe love. Sayo was a realist. She had always been very clear on her goal: to be the best guitarist. Anything that distracted her from this was considered a waste of time and energy. Before joining Roselia, she had even despised all forms of friendships -- any type of interpersonal built on trust and love.

Except something was definitely happening now. To her. It was terrifying, confusing, frustrating. Yet at the same time it was strangely invigorating. Sayo woke up everyday looking forward to practice. Her heart beat a little faster every time she entered through the studio’s door. She realized that something in her _yearned_. For what, she did not know -- did not dare to guess.

Only that she knew she couldn’t keep her feelings hidden, from herself, from Lisa, for long.

 

\--

 

Lisa didn’t think she would meet another Yukina.

Here she was, standing tall with her blue hair and carefully set face, emitting the same kind of serious air that screamed “don’t get too close”. There was a sense of loneliness also, like a startled animal who was abandoned too many times.

“Hello” Lisa smiled, “I’m Lisa, Yukina’s friend.” She extended a hand.

Sayo stiffly clasped it. “I’m Sayo. I play the guitar.” She said, more of a statement than a self-introduction. They shook hands, Lisa could not shake off a sense of hostility from this new guitarist. She peered over at Yukina, whose face was so grave and serene that hinted at the importance of this meeting. Suddenly she was reminded of the time when Yukina and she first met, how Yukina had the same cautious energy around her. Seventeen years later and she still hasn’t let her guard down.

_This will be interesting._

Lisa never backed down from a challenge, especially when it comes to meeting new people and forging new friendships. She knew this was her strength. She could turn any stranger to her favor, armed with her optimism and her patissier magic.

Lisa had another purpose: to act as the pillar of support for Yukina. Sitting there in that cafe while Yukina talked, shaping her dream into a physical tangibility in the form of Roselia, Lisa swore to herself that she will do everything in her power to help realize Yukina’s dream. It was then that she noticed -- the same solemn determination in Sayo’s eyes. Wordlessly unwavering, a fire burned with such unrestrained passion that paradoxically devoid of any expression on her face. Lisa found herself wanting to know more about Sayo, because she was sure she was the only one to ever care about Yukina in such a way, until Sayo came along...

Sayo was a puzzle.

She was cold. Arrogant at times. Unbearable at other. She spoke what’s on her mind, whether you wanted to hear or not. She was a fantastic guitar player but a bad team player. When Lisa offered her cookies, Sayo glared suspiciously at the box and quietly said she wasn’t hungry.

“Come on, they’re not poisoned.” Lisa teased, nudging the box closer.

“I don’t like sweets. They are bad for your teeth.” Sayo backed away slightly, scowling.

“Just try one, I promise they’re really good! Right Ako?”

“Thank you Imai-san but I’m… just not hungry.” Sayo turned away, pretending to tune her guitar.

Lisa knew there was a deep vulnerable hurt within Sayo. The way she looked away when Ako first brought up Hina, the clench of the fist and a belligerent spirit in the flush of her face. The shameful dip of her head when she gets one note wrong in her solo. She was harder on herself than anyone Lisa’s known, except maybe Yukina. _They are made of the same cloth, Sayo and Yukina_. Lisa thought as she watched the two of them pour over sheets of music composition. But Sayo’s fight was much more hardwired than Yukina’s. She was constantly in pain, Lisa could sense, wrapped up in a chain of self-hatred manifesting outwardly as conceit and paranoia.

But eventually Sayo ate Lisa’s cookies. Eventually Sayo went out with the rest of them to that fast food restaurant, where she vehemently stared at the basket of fries before Rin awkwardly asked her if she wanted to try. Eventually Sayo told Lisa about Hina, or rather her truth about Hina, which was a conflict rooted deeper than sibling rivalry. Though it would be 2 months before Lisa finally sees Sayo smile and another 3 weeks before Sayo laughed, Lisa felt a quiet peace settle over her; _see?_ _all she needed was time._

Turned out all Lisa needed was time too, before she realized what was happening. To her own heart.

“Imai-san, wait.” Sayo said to her one evening after rehearsal.

It was only the two of them that night, Ako and Rin left early, Yukina, operating by the rhythm of her own beat, was nowhere to be found.

Sayo reached into her bag, pulled out a brown bag immaculately bounded by a ribbon. She shoved it at Lisa, eyes looking anywhere but at her.

"For you. Thanks for last time.” Sayo mumbled, clearly embarrassed at whatever was inside the bag.

Lisa felt something in her stir, a minute skip of the heart. “What is it?” She couldn’t help but ask.

Sayo shifted her feet. She was really uncomfortable now. Speaking one-to-one was not her forte. “I tried, you know-- baking, and such. Ya.”

“Baking..?” Lisa paused, letting the word sink into her brain. “You don’t mean…”

“Hazawa-san helped me with them it was my first time baking you know it was hard I never baked before I tried my best don’t eat it if you don’t like it--”

Disregarding that whole string of ramble out of Sayo’s mouth, Lisa opened the package and tried one. Vanilla. Crunchy. A little bit burnt on the side.

It was perfect.

_When was the last time someone baked for me?_ Lisa thought to herself as she picked up another one and stuffed it in her mouth, ignoring Sayo’s obvious freak-out-but-trying-not-to-show-it meltdown on the side. _It has been so long…_  

“You are the first one to ever bake me anything, Sayo.”

“What?” Sayo blurted. Her face was flushed now. She was ready to bolt.

“I was just thinking that you were the first one to ever bake _me_ cookies.” Lisa smiled, hoping the sadness didn’t seep through her eyes. “They are perfect. Really. Thank you.”

Sayo looked at her. Lisa stared back. Sayo’s eyes were a pool of green; amethyst against sapphire hair. Iris cold against a backdrop of untold abandon, defeat; the story of a girl who rebelled against love, fought against it, unwilling to submit to it.

Maybe that’s why Lisa kissed her, entranced those hypnotizing eyes, telling stories unpassed through those very lips brushing against her own. Time was both frozen and hyperspeed as they stood there, Sayo, stunned and unsure where to put her hands, Lisa, one hand still clutching the bag of cookies, the other placed gently on Sayo’s arm, as if steadying herself against ocean waves of an autumn storm.

Lisa’s lips tasted like sugar and lip gloss. Like the honey that was so foreign on her tongue, except it wasn’t so foreign now, because Sayo has finally tasted its sweetness, finally understood the feelings that came with it.

Love, a sigh of relief, of admittance. The taste of it carried off to easy sleep, dreams promising more.

 Lisa felt hands on her waist, pulling her close. She leaned in, letting the waters take her.

**Author's Note:**

> What happens after the kiss?! Who knows... :^) 
> 
> I still can’t decide if Sayo fell in love first or Lisa did. Or perhaps they fell in love at the same time, the same minute. 
> 
> I think Lisa sees Sayo’s effort as an echo of her own in supporting Yukina. And for that she fell for Sayo.  
> Sayo had never met anyone like Lisa. Someone so selflessly giving, so full of love and light, so effortless. 
> 
> Their love is both soft and pained. I can easily see Sayo as the jealous type, while Lisa tries her best to navigate through her own feelings, because she sees her love for Sayo as a sort of betrayal to Yukina. 
> 
> You know what I also love. Yukina silently egging the two of them on…. Because they’re her best friends and she loves both of them very much. She wants Lisa to feel loved, she wants Sayo to realize that she CAN love. 
> 
> Because when you’re in love, music sounds better too. 
> 
> I'm working on a sayolisa coffee shop au. stay tuned 
> 
> Happy New Year! Thanks4Reading!!


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